Radiation??

Sorry I have not posted anything new to my blog in a few days. For those of you who are on FB and friends with me, you know that I have a ton of information swimming around in my mind. For some reason, the thought of Radiation is terrifying me. Benton and I met with the Radiation Oncologist on Monday, 12/7/09, at Roper Hospital. Her name was Dr. Decker. We both really liked her - very straight forward and to the point. Not too "mushy", "sweet", or "giddy"...just a simple to the point kind of doctor. We went through a ton of questions with her. The biggest question in our mind was "If they apparently got all the cancer in the biopsy and/or lumpectomy, and all the pathology reports from surgery have come back negative, WHY do I need radiation?".

Well, many factors play into the reason why they medically recommend radiation...
1. My cancer was a Grade 3 aggressive cancer;
2. I am young and radiation will greatly minimize the chance of recurrence;
3. I was w/in 1mm of invasion (spreading) of the cancer.

The invasion report is somewhat vague because it was within 1 mm. They can not tell me 100% that it was an invasive cancer but they can not rule it out either. We caught the cancer so early that we caught it before there was any obvious sign of invasion. Make sense? Some days it does make sense to me, others it does not.

Benton and I have received information not only from the Radiologist but also from others who may not necessarily agree with radiation as a treatment option. We have been trying to sort through all the information in our heads to make the best decision for my treatment. We keep coming back to the decision of "let's do both".

Both "treatments" would include radiation and a change of diet/lifestyle. We all know that sugar is bad for our bodies right? Common sense tells us this! We also know that exercise is very important to our health. Again, common sense tells us this. So, why not have the radiation and also begin changing our lifestyle to begin eating healthier and exercising regularly.

The radiation treatment plan would be 5 days a week for 5-7 weeks. Yup, driving from Summerville to downtown Charleston for almost 2 months. Fun? No, not really, but it's my health and my future we are talking about here. Yes, our gasoline bill will increase slightly for those 2 months but if it kills the malignant cells that may be left in my body I think I can handle it. The surgeon's office has also referred me to a Radiologist at Trident (aaaaa!) and I have a tentative appointment there on 12/28/09. Trident is only a 15 min drive for me where Roper is about 30-45 min depending on traffic. I still have my fear of Trident though based on my biopsy experience. Both Benton and I are very comfortable with Roper Hospital so we most likely will stick to that plan.

So that's where we stand folks. No final decision has been made. I continue to pray to God for his guidance and wisdom to make the best decision for me. He is the Great Physician, and he knows what is in store for me. I need to continue trusting in Him and he will guide me through the whole process.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Back to Normal...

Well, it's been 2 weeks to the day since I had my surgery. It's as though I turned a corner in the healing process and finally feel almost 100% normal (I know, I know...you are all saying I'll never be normal!). Finally do not have to sleep with a brassiere on any longer! Yea! I'm able to do just about any physical activity with the exception of lifting anything over 5 lbs. and exercising vigourously (bummer huh?). We are finally done with all the leftovers from the delicious meals that were brought to us by our church family. Guess I should start cooking again huh? Mmmm...maybe a good time to try some new recipes!

Next step is meeting the Radiation Doctor next Monday, Dec 7th, for a consult. The Doctor I will meet will either be Dr. Clay or Dr. Decker. Their practice is located within Roper Hospital downtown. I have lots of questions to ask them and I'm sure they will have the answers...how long does a treatment take? Will I be able to "feel" the radiation? Will I be OK to drive myself home afterwards? What are the possible side effects? etc. Lots of new things to think about but again, I'm just so glad that the Lord is in charge!

Got the new house decorated for Christmas and love it. When we were growing up in Medfield my Mom always had the little candles in the windows at night. I've always wanted to do that but never took the time or money to make it happen...until this year! The house looks great! I even put some mini white lights on a few bushes out front. I decorated a plain 30" wreath myself for our front door. I'll get some photos taken soon and post them on my facebook page.

A friend of mine from church just shared that her Mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer as well. I asked if I could call her and I did. Her name is Shirley and it was so wonderful to talk with her. I was thrilled to hear that she is also seeing Dr. Baron as her surgeon. We shared our experiences together and I was able to tell her what to expect over the next few weeks. I've been praying that the Lord will use this trial in my life to share with others and hopefully help others through the process. That is exactly what Shirley has been praying about too! We both are praying for God to strengthen our faith and hope in him and that he will use our experiences to win others into His Kingdom!

Short post today, time to straighten up the house, finish the laundry and then read some intriguing information on the book of Revelation, ch 15. In closing, let me ask...do you believe in the end times? When the end time does come, where will you go...Heaven or Hell? I will be praying for those I love, both family & friends, that you will receive Christ as your personal Savior and that come the end times, we will rejoice in Heaven together!

What Am I Thankful For This Thanksgiving?

T - TATAS girls!!!!
H - HOPE in HIM, our Almighty Father, Sustainer & Great Physician
A - my ATTITUDE in life
N - NEGATIVE test results
K - KINDNESS of friends & family
S - my SOUL MATE Benton (and also SANDY Fitch - my Mom and inspiration to fight the cancer!)
G - GOD, GOD, GOD, GOD....you get the idea!
I - my IN LAWS, who I love dearly and wish lived closer!
V - VERSES of the Bible that I have the freedom to read and share out loud!
I - INSPIRATIONAL friends, readings and moments in life
N - Our NAMESAKES of Jesse & Dylan
G - the saving GRACE of our Lord Jesus Christ

I wish everyone a joyful, relaxing, loving & blessed Thanksgiving Day! May you take time to reflect on all that you are Thankful for! God Bless you all! Sending this out with tears of joy and thanks in my eyes!
Tammy

Fantastic Follow Up Visit...

This morning I had my post op follow up appt with Dr. Baron. His medical assistant, Jill Neumann, came in first and told me the good news. There were NO CANCER CELLS FOUND AT ALL IN THE SPECIMEN FROM THE LUMPECTOMY & LYMPH NODES!!!!!!! Praise the Lord!!! She could not stop smiling at the good news and I near about burst into tears of joy. Dr. Baron came in and confirmed the same report. My incisions are healing very well and he said they should clear up quite a bit in the next week. No heavy lifting or exercising allowed (bummer huh?). Guess lifting weights is out of the question. I do hope to begin walking again now (hint hint to my new neighbors!!!). Walking will be fine but no running. Can't do anything with major impact, unless I decide to use duck tape around my chest so nothing moves around! NOT!!!

Now, however, because my cancer was a Grade 3 in agressiveness and because the Radiologist/Oncologist confirmed the size of the cancer cell area taken out as almost 7mm, they are suggesting radiation and being on Tamoxophin for 5 years. Tamoxphin is an estrogen blocker. Apparently breast cancer cells are attracted to estrogen, therefore the need to block the estrogen. Man, I'm starting to sound like I really know what I'm talking about now! :)

Yesterday I made 2 batches of my candied pecans and made little gift bags to bring to Dr. Baron's office and to the staff at Roper Hospital. Dr. Baron was so funny when I told him I made him a little something to say thanks. He asked if this was a business I owned - no, just me loving to bake goodies and share them with people. He was glad he could share them with his staff so he didn't need to eat them all by himself!

Next time I see Dr. Baron will be in 6 months for a bi-lateral mammogram to be sure all is fine and that no more cancer has appeared. They asked if I wanted to go back to Trident and I said no way. Roper is the place for me from now on!

After leaving Dr. Baron's office I found my way over to Roper Hospital to deliver more pecans and hugs. I walked into Ambulatory Surgery and immediately saw 3 familar faces...Tanya, Cynthia Saukas, and the other gal from the Breast Care Center. They all came up to me and gave me big hugs. I told them how much I appreciated the superb care I received from them and wanted them to know how wonderful my experience was with each and every one of them. It was so good to see them all and thank them in person (especially when I was not under the influence of meds!). I walked up to Nuclear Medicine and again was greeted by a familar face. I do not remember her name but she was the one who wheeled me back to my room after the radiocative stuff was injected into me last Wed. I asked her if Susan Hartley was there and she went to get her for me. Susan came out with a huge smile and said "HI TAMMY!!". I gave her a goodie bag as well and again simply said thank you for the kind, compassionate, and friendly care I received from her and Dr. Cole.

The cool thing was that apparently all the staff I mentioned in my letter to Roper had already read the letter! Love the fast USMail service! One gal introduced me to someone else as the girl who wrote the blog!

It was so good to revisit Roper today. I told Cynthia that she would for sure see me again in 6 months because from now on all my breast care will be done at Roper. Even my Radiation will be done at Roper too.

I was so excited coming home that I went school early to surprise the boys. I couldn't help but share the great news with them about the cancer being all out of Mommy's body. Jesse was happy, but you know, 4th graders have to be cool in front of friends. Dylan's little face lit up and he gave me a huge squeeze! It was great to see everyone at the school...it had been at least 4 weeks since I had been in there. I love the staff at Fort Dorchester Elementary. So many of them have been praying for me as well. We are so blessed to live in a community where there are many believers in God and Jesus Christ who are not ashamed to say so!

OK, no school tomorrow...we're kicking back and watching movies this afternoon.

Lastly, what am I thankful for the most this Thanksgiving?????....I'm thankful for love, compassion, excellent medical care, laughter, tears, joy, salvation, mercy, and grace!! God is so good, all the time!

How Tough are you Tammy?

Not as tough as I thought. The pain really set in hard last night and I gave in to the pain meds. Before bed I had Benton help me reposition the gauze over the incisions. Gave it a little more cushioning. The incision where they took out the lymph node is the one closest to my arm pit and hurts the most. Probably because there is not so much fatty tissue around it like there is near the other incision. The lymph node incision is about 1 inch long and the lumpectomy incision is about 3 inches long. At least that's what I can tell trying to look sideways and down at my chest when I can't even raise my arm. Even with a mirror it's difficult for me to see it very well. I have been sleeping with some travel pillows under my arm pit for more comfort and that helps. Slept primarily on my right side and then on my back. Actually had a good night's sleep last night but this morning I woke up in lots of pain. Couldn't even walk around the house without holding the pillow under my arm. Thank goodness I have a wonderful husband who helped get the boys up, showered, fed, and out the door for school this morning. As soon as they left I took more pain med and went back to bed for 2 1/2 hours. Just woke up a bit ago. Feeling better and hoping the rest of the day goes by easier than the morning started.

Dear Lord, thank you for bringing me safely through my surgery and for giving the staff and doctors wisdom and compassion towards me. I thank you for being the Great Physician and for being my Sustainer, Strength, Strongtower and Father. I continue to praise you during this storm in my life. I feel the weight and burdens in my head and heart being lifted by you every moment. Thank you for your protection and for the grace and mercy you bestow to me every day! In the name of your glorious Son I pray, Amen.

Roper Rocks!!!!

Yesterday was the big day...surgery at Roper Hospital downtown Charleston. We left the house at 6am in order to beat the supposed traffic everyone was telling us about. Folks, we didn't hit any traffic and were at Roper's front door at 6:33am. I prayed out loud as we got on 26 that God would protect our travels and help us avoid any traffic...another simple prayer answered by Him!

The registration process was very simple. The 3 phone calls I received a few days prior helped to gather all the information they needed. We checked in to Ambulatory Surgery and waited for about 40 minutes before they called me back to my room and to prep me. I got settled in my beautiful hospital gown and Benton came back after the nurse put in my IV needle (didn't need him fainting on me from seeing the needle!). At 7:47am they started the IV of Ciprofalxin (saline solution w/dextrose - my "food" for the day). At 8:00am a nurse walked us to the Breast Care Center where my needle placement was to be done. The needle placement was completed at 8:50am . I was wise to make sure everyone knew I needed extra numbing meds based on my experience from the biopsy. They made sure of it and besides the initial prick I didn't feel a thing. Dr. Amy Bethea did the needle placement and Cynthia Saukas was the Head Mammogram Tech working along side her and holding my hand. The needle was about the width of a piece of thread (very delicate!) and they fed it through my breast directly to the clip that showed the exact placement of the cancer cells. They do this so that the surgeon has a direct line to the area and does not need to "fish around" in there for the correct placement. I was so pleased when, after Cynthia took a few photos, that Dr. Bethea said they got it perfect the first time and I was all set. Again, thanks to the extra lidocane!

Next stop was going up to Nuclear Medicine. At this point I sent Benton to the cafeteria and would meet him back in my room. Nuclear Medicine is where they inject my breast with the radiocative material so that they can see the lymph nodes and if the cancer cells have spread there so far. Dr. Cole and Susan Hartley, RN were the 2 wonderful women who took care of me up there. Again, I asked for extra lidocane and they were pleased to honor my request! These 2 ladies were so fun to talk to. Susan had a strong southern accent was so beautiful, inside and out. Dr. Cole stood about 5 ft tall and wore the funniest shoes but she was so sweet and fun! The injection here only took about 15 minutes. After that injection however, I was no longer able to walk about. Time to be wheelchair bound!

I arrived back to my room at about 10:45am. I was so happy to see Benton there as well as a dear friend & brother in Christ, Norm Fortier. Norm is on staff at our church. We have been getting to know him more and more through prayer time together. Yesterday we had a wonderful time of prayer and chatting with him. Norm left just after 11:00am and at 11:15am the nurse Vicki gave me a sedative. When she was done she simply said "good night" with a smile.

Shortly thereafter the anesthesiologist, C. Keith Stevens (aka Drug Dude) came in to explain to me what was going to happen when I get to the OR. Tall, thin guys with a great sense of humor. He said that when patients like him he gives us his real name. When they don't he gives them an alias. We liked him so we stuck to the above with the nickname of Drug Dude.

After a quick potty break and a big hug to Benton they got me rolling to the OR just before 11:30am. I remember going into the OR, moving myself onto the OR table and then them injecting me with the anesthesia. The nurse Juvy was there next to me and I started feeling a horrible itching sensation on my right arm. She rubbed it for me but I remember them quickly say get her off that med and use a different one (do not know the name of it, sorry!). Next thing Drug Dude told me to take a few breaths of oxygen from the mask - I think he lied about it being oxygen because I think I only got one breath of it and that's all she wrote. I don't remember anything else until I woke up at 2:15pm in the recovery room.

I apparently came out of surgery into the recovery room at 1:30, waking up an hour later. I immediately asked for something to drink, ginger ale preferably. I needed some sugar as I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before. I felt a strong sting in my nipple area so the nurse gave me a small dose of morphine. Did OK overall in recovery. Just was very dizzy and a little nauseous. The give you anti-nausea medication before you even wake up. The dizziness they said was from all the meds in you that were starting to "flush out". I had to pee so bad so the nurse walked me to the restroom. I held on to her for dear life!!!!!

Benton came back and sat with me at about 2:30pm. I was so happy to see his handsome face and smile. I think he was relieved to see me awake too. He said the one thought that just going through his mind while he was waiting for surgery to be done was "what if she doesn't wake up". How scary of a thought. We both knew that God would protect us and comfort us though. God is so good to us all the time! It felt really good to hold Benton's hand and just hold on to him again. It is such a strange feeling when you do not know where 3 hours of your day went!

The nurse gave me some graham crackers and saltines to get my stomach settled. After helping me get dressed I laid there for about 15 more minutes. Just didn't feel comfortable yet. We finally left the hospital at 3:30pm. Stopped at CVS on the way home to get the pain med prescription filled (acetominiphin w/codine) and them came home. I layed down quickly and woke up around 5:45pm. I was still dizzy and was having a few major hot flashes and sweating profusely. Apparently very normal when your body is getting rid of all the meds/toxins in your body after surgery.

A sweet neighbor made us some homemade vegetable soup last night. A perfect light dinner for Benton and I. Hit the spot. After dinner he and I crashed in the living room listening to the radio until the boys came home. I got up at 8:00pm and was glad not to feel the dizziness anymore. The boys were at church and got home around 9:00pm. It was so good to see their sweet faces. I showed them where the surgery was and little Dylan had tears in his eyes. I told him it was OK and that Mommy was just fine and he was relieved. He said he was just so happy I didn't have to have the "big surgery". I said "Me too!!!!".

After winding down and getting the boys to bed, Benton and I watched The Chronicles of Narnia (we love that movie!!!). We went to bed about midnight and both slept very well. This morning Benton stayed home until about 8:00am and then headed to work. I went back to bed and got up to the phone ringing at about 10:20am. It was the hospital calling to check on me! I told Jane that my experience at Roper was ABOVE EXCELLENT! Their goal is to have patient's experiences be excellent and she said she had goose bumps when I told her how wonderful my experience was.

Today is going as expected. Still in jammies, no shower, sore but taking tylenol or ibuprofen. Thank goodness I can eat and brush my teeth! No shower until Saturday but I live with 3 stinky boys so I think they can handle Mommy not showering for a few days! :)

Best part of the day so far is that Ruth Ruffin just brought me some homemade bread!!!! Guess what we are having for lunch Benton!!!!! Thank you sister for that special treat!!!

Thank you to EVERYONE who has sent me FB posts, emails, phone calls, and the prayers. You are all dear friends & family to me and all I can do now is say thank you! I wish you all a Happy Harvest this Thanksgiving and will be thanking Him for you all being part of my life!
Tammy

Take These Burdens...

A dear friend, Cecilia, sang this song at church a few weeks ago. Both she and I are going through a "storm" right now in our lives however we both know that God is in control of everything. It's important to lay our burdens down before him and remember that he rescues us from our burdens and sufferings. I wanted to post the lyrics to this song for everyone to read. No matter what your burden is in your life, know that God will redeem you from them!

Take These Burdens, Written by Janet Paschal
Heavenly Father, This is your daughter, I need an answer
There's so much worry, So much trouble in my soul
But I have always found solutions, In these moments here with you
So take these burdens, and do what only You can do.
You've been my anchor so many times, Lord, through rough waters
So just hold me steady, this time I'm tossin' to and fro
But I know you're able to heal this heartache
'Cause you've always seen me through
Take these burdens and do what only You can do.
Chorus: Calm the storm,
Stop the strong wind from blowing in on me,
If I must go through the valley-give me peace,
I want to trust You,
So give me strength, Lord
Just to hold on tight to You
So take these burdens and do what only You can do.

This song is from Janet's CD titled "Songs for a Lifetime". Thank you DD for sharing it with me!