What Am I Thankful For This Thanksgiving?

T - TATAS girls!!!!
H - HOPE in HIM, our Almighty Father, Sustainer & Great Physician
A - my ATTITUDE in life
N - NEGATIVE test results
K - KINDNESS of friends & family
S - my SOUL MATE Benton (and also SANDY Fitch - my Mom and inspiration to fight the cancer!)
G - GOD, GOD, GOD, GOD....you get the idea!
I - my IN LAWS, who I love dearly and wish lived closer!
V - VERSES of the Bible that I have the freedom to read and share out loud!
I - INSPIRATIONAL friends, readings and moments in life
N - Our NAMESAKES of Jesse & Dylan
G - the saving GRACE of our Lord Jesus Christ

I wish everyone a joyful, relaxing, loving & blessed Thanksgiving Day! May you take time to reflect on all that you are Thankful for! God Bless you all! Sending this out with tears of joy and thanks in my eyes!
Tammy

Fantastic Follow Up Visit...

This morning I had my post op follow up appt with Dr. Baron. His medical assistant, Jill Neumann, came in first and told me the good news. There were NO CANCER CELLS FOUND AT ALL IN THE SPECIMEN FROM THE LUMPECTOMY & LYMPH NODES!!!!!!! Praise the Lord!!! She could not stop smiling at the good news and I near about burst into tears of joy. Dr. Baron came in and confirmed the same report. My incisions are healing very well and he said they should clear up quite a bit in the next week. No heavy lifting or exercising allowed (bummer huh?). Guess lifting weights is out of the question. I do hope to begin walking again now (hint hint to my new neighbors!!!). Walking will be fine but no running. Can't do anything with major impact, unless I decide to use duck tape around my chest so nothing moves around! NOT!!!

Now, however, because my cancer was a Grade 3 in agressiveness and because the Radiologist/Oncologist confirmed the size of the cancer cell area taken out as almost 7mm, they are suggesting radiation and being on Tamoxophin for 5 years. Tamoxphin is an estrogen blocker. Apparently breast cancer cells are attracted to estrogen, therefore the need to block the estrogen. Man, I'm starting to sound like I really know what I'm talking about now! :)

Yesterday I made 2 batches of my candied pecans and made little gift bags to bring to Dr. Baron's office and to the staff at Roper Hospital. Dr. Baron was so funny when I told him I made him a little something to say thanks. He asked if this was a business I owned - no, just me loving to bake goodies and share them with people. He was glad he could share them with his staff so he didn't need to eat them all by himself!

Next time I see Dr. Baron will be in 6 months for a bi-lateral mammogram to be sure all is fine and that no more cancer has appeared. They asked if I wanted to go back to Trident and I said no way. Roper is the place for me from now on!

After leaving Dr. Baron's office I found my way over to Roper Hospital to deliver more pecans and hugs. I walked into Ambulatory Surgery and immediately saw 3 familar faces...Tanya, Cynthia Saukas, and the other gal from the Breast Care Center. They all came up to me and gave me big hugs. I told them how much I appreciated the superb care I received from them and wanted them to know how wonderful my experience was with each and every one of them. It was so good to see them all and thank them in person (especially when I was not under the influence of meds!). I walked up to Nuclear Medicine and again was greeted by a familar face. I do not remember her name but she was the one who wheeled me back to my room after the radiocative stuff was injected into me last Wed. I asked her if Susan Hartley was there and she went to get her for me. Susan came out with a huge smile and said "HI TAMMY!!". I gave her a goodie bag as well and again simply said thank you for the kind, compassionate, and friendly care I received from her and Dr. Cole.

The cool thing was that apparently all the staff I mentioned in my letter to Roper had already read the letter! Love the fast USMail service! One gal introduced me to someone else as the girl who wrote the blog!

It was so good to revisit Roper today. I told Cynthia that she would for sure see me again in 6 months because from now on all my breast care will be done at Roper. Even my Radiation will be done at Roper too.

I was so excited coming home that I went school early to surprise the boys. I couldn't help but share the great news with them about the cancer being all out of Mommy's body. Jesse was happy, but you know, 4th graders have to be cool in front of friends. Dylan's little face lit up and he gave me a huge squeeze! It was great to see everyone at the school...it had been at least 4 weeks since I had been in there. I love the staff at Fort Dorchester Elementary. So many of them have been praying for me as well. We are so blessed to live in a community where there are many believers in God and Jesus Christ who are not ashamed to say so!

OK, no school tomorrow...we're kicking back and watching movies this afternoon.

Lastly, what am I thankful for the most this Thanksgiving?????....I'm thankful for love, compassion, excellent medical care, laughter, tears, joy, salvation, mercy, and grace!! God is so good, all the time!

How Tough are you Tammy?

Not as tough as I thought. The pain really set in hard last night and I gave in to the pain meds. Before bed I had Benton help me reposition the gauze over the incisions. Gave it a little more cushioning. The incision where they took out the lymph node is the one closest to my arm pit and hurts the most. Probably because there is not so much fatty tissue around it like there is near the other incision. The lymph node incision is about 1 inch long and the lumpectomy incision is about 3 inches long. At least that's what I can tell trying to look sideways and down at my chest when I can't even raise my arm. Even with a mirror it's difficult for me to see it very well. I have been sleeping with some travel pillows under my arm pit for more comfort and that helps. Slept primarily on my right side and then on my back. Actually had a good night's sleep last night but this morning I woke up in lots of pain. Couldn't even walk around the house without holding the pillow under my arm. Thank goodness I have a wonderful husband who helped get the boys up, showered, fed, and out the door for school this morning. As soon as they left I took more pain med and went back to bed for 2 1/2 hours. Just woke up a bit ago. Feeling better and hoping the rest of the day goes by easier than the morning started.

Dear Lord, thank you for bringing me safely through my surgery and for giving the staff and doctors wisdom and compassion towards me. I thank you for being the Great Physician and for being my Sustainer, Strength, Strongtower and Father. I continue to praise you during this storm in my life. I feel the weight and burdens in my head and heart being lifted by you every moment. Thank you for your protection and for the grace and mercy you bestow to me every day! In the name of your glorious Son I pray, Amen.

Roper Rocks!!!!

Yesterday was the big day...surgery at Roper Hospital downtown Charleston. We left the house at 6am in order to beat the supposed traffic everyone was telling us about. Folks, we didn't hit any traffic and were at Roper's front door at 6:33am. I prayed out loud as we got on 26 that God would protect our travels and help us avoid any traffic...another simple prayer answered by Him!

The registration process was very simple. The 3 phone calls I received a few days prior helped to gather all the information they needed. We checked in to Ambulatory Surgery and waited for about 40 minutes before they called me back to my room and to prep me. I got settled in my beautiful hospital gown and Benton came back after the nurse put in my IV needle (didn't need him fainting on me from seeing the needle!). At 7:47am they started the IV of Ciprofalxin (saline solution w/dextrose - my "food" for the day). At 8:00am a nurse walked us to the Breast Care Center where my needle placement was to be done. The needle placement was completed at 8:50am . I was wise to make sure everyone knew I needed extra numbing meds based on my experience from the biopsy. They made sure of it and besides the initial prick I didn't feel a thing. Dr. Amy Bethea did the needle placement and Cynthia Saukas was the Head Mammogram Tech working along side her and holding my hand. The needle was about the width of a piece of thread (very delicate!) and they fed it through my breast directly to the clip that showed the exact placement of the cancer cells. They do this so that the surgeon has a direct line to the area and does not need to "fish around" in there for the correct placement. I was so pleased when, after Cynthia took a few photos, that Dr. Bethea said they got it perfect the first time and I was all set. Again, thanks to the extra lidocane!

Next stop was going up to Nuclear Medicine. At this point I sent Benton to the cafeteria and would meet him back in my room. Nuclear Medicine is where they inject my breast with the radiocative material so that they can see the lymph nodes and if the cancer cells have spread there so far. Dr. Cole and Susan Hartley, RN were the 2 wonderful women who took care of me up there. Again, I asked for extra lidocane and they were pleased to honor my request! These 2 ladies were so fun to talk to. Susan had a strong southern accent was so beautiful, inside and out. Dr. Cole stood about 5 ft tall and wore the funniest shoes but she was so sweet and fun! The injection here only took about 15 minutes. After that injection however, I was no longer able to walk about. Time to be wheelchair bound!

I arrived back to my room at about 10:45am. I was so happy to see Benton there as well as a dear friend & brother in Christ, Norm Fortier. Norm is on staff at our church. We have been getting to know him more and more through prayer time together. Yesterday we had a wonderful time of prayer and chatting with him. Norm left just after 11:00am and at 11:15am the nurse Vicki gave me a sedative. When she was done she simply said "good night" with a smile.

Shortly thereafter the anesthesiologist, C. Keith Stevens (aka Drug Dude) came in to explain to me what was going to happen when I get to the OR. Tall, thin guys with a great sense of humor. He said that when patients like him he gives us his real name. When they don't he gives them an alias. We liked him so we stuck to the above with the nickname of Drug Dude.

After a quick potty break and a big hug to Benton they got me rolling to the OR just before 11:30am. I remember going into the OR, moving myself onto the OR table and then them injecting me with the anesthesia. The nurse Juvy was there next to me and I started feeling a horrible itching sensation on my right arm. She rubbed it for me but I remember them quickly say get her off that med and use a different one (do not know the name of it, sorry!). Next thing Drug Dude told me to take a few breaths of oxygen from the mask - I think he lied about it being oxygen because I think I only got one breath of it and that's all she wrote. I don't remember anything else until I woke up at 2:15pm in the recovery room.

I apparently came out of surgery into the recovery room at 1:30, waking up an hour later. I immediately asked for something to drink, ginger ale preferably. I needed some sugar as I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before. I felt a strong sting in my nipple area so the nurse gave me a small dose of morphine. Did OK overall in recovery. Just was very dizzy and a little nauseous. The give you anti-nausea medication before you even wake up. The dizziness they said was from all the meds in you that were starting to "flush out". I had to pee so bad so the nurse walked me to the restroom. I held on to her for dear life!!!!!

Benton came back and sat with me at about 2:30pm. I was so happy to see his handsome face and smile. I think he was relieved to see me awake too. He said the one thought that just going through his mind while he was waiting for surgery to be done was "what if she doesn't wake up". How scary of a thought. We both knew that God would protect us and comfort us though. God is so good to us all the time! It felt really good to hold Benton's hand and just hold on to him again. It is such a strange feeling when you do not know where 3 hours of your day went!

The nurse gave me some graham crackers and saltines to get my stomach settled. After helping me get dressed I laid there for about 15 more minutes. Just didn't feel comfortable yet. We finally left the hospital at 3:30pm. Stopped at CVS on the way home to get the pain med prescription filled (acetominiphin w/codine) and them came home. I layed down quickly and woke up around 5:45pm. I was still dizzy and was having a few major hot flashes and sweating profusely. Apparently very normal when your body is getting rid of all the meds/toxins in your body after surgery.

A sweet neighbor made us some homemade vegetable soup last night. A perfect light dinner for Benton and I. Hit the spot. After dinner he and I crashed in the living room listening to the radio until the boys came home. I got up at 8:00pm and was glad not to feel the dizziness anymore. The boys were at church and got home around 9:00pm. It was so good to see their sweet faces. I showed them where the surgery was and little Dylan had tears in his eyes. I told him it was OK and that Mommy was just fine and he was relieved. He said he was just so happy I didn't have to have the "big surgery". I said "Me too!!!!".

After winding down and getting the boys to bed, Benton and I watched The Chronicles of Narnia (we love that movie!!!). We went to bed about midnight and both slept very well. This morning Benton stayed home until about 8:00am and then headed to work. I went back to bed and got up to the phone ringing at about 10:20am. It was the hospital calling to check on me! I told Jane that my experience at Roper was ABOVE EXCELLENT! Their goal is to have patient's experiences be excellent and she said she had goose bumps when I told her how wonderful my experience was.

Today is going as expected. Still in jammies, no shower, sore but taking tylenol or ibuprofen. Thank goodness I can eat and brush my teeth! No shower until Saturday but I live with 3 stinky boys so I think they can handle Mommy not showering for a few days! :)

Best part of the day so far is that Ruth Ruffin just brought me some homemade bread!!!! Guess what we are having for lunch Benton!!!!! Thank you sister for that special treat!!!

Thank you to EVERYONE who has sent me FB posts, emails, phone calls, and the prayers. You are all dear friends & family to me and all I can do now is say thank you! I wish you all a Happy Harvest this Thanksgiving and will be thanking Him for you all being part of my life!
Tammy

Take These Burdens...

A dear friend, Cecilia, sang this song at church a few weeks ago. Both she and I are going through a "storm" right now in our lives however we both know that God is in control of everything. It's important to lay our burdens down before him and remember that he rescues us from our burdens and sufferings. I wanted to post the lyrics to this song for everyone to read. No matter what your burden is in your life, know that God will redeem you from them!

Take These Burdens, Written by Janet Paschal
Heavenly Father, This is your daughter, I need an answer
There's so much worry, So much trouble in my soul
But I have always found solutions, In these moments here with you
So take these burdens, and do what only You can do.
You've been my anchor so many times, Lord, through rough waters
So just hold me steady, this time I'm tossin' to and fro
But I know you're able to heal this heartache
'Cause you've always seen me through
Take these burdens and do what only You can do.
Chorus: Calm the storm,
Stop the strong wind from blowing in on me,
If I must go through the valley-give me peace,
I want to trust You,
So give me strength, Lord
Just to hold on tight to You
So take these burdens and do what only You can do.

This song is from Janet's CD titled "Songs for a Lifetime". Thank you DD for sharing it with me!

Surgery Scheduled...

Just confirmed with Annette that my surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday, Nov 18th at Roper Hosptial. Have already done the pre-registration with the hospital as well. I need to be at Roper downtown no later than 7am. After paperwork is done (might take a while according to Annette) I will go in to have the needle placement put in for the injection during surgery. After that is done I will most likely have a little waiting time and then go in for surgery at 10:30'sh. I am unable to have anything to eat or drink after midnight on Tuesday night. Maybe Benton and I will take a late night run through Sonic so I can chow down a burger & shake (no corn dogs, sorry Mama Ceal!).

I have to say thank you to the following families who will be helping care for Jesse & Dylan next Wednesday. The Clarke family will be welcoming the boys to their home around 6:00am; the Legg Family will be picking them up from early release at school (11am); and the Dale family will be tag teaming with the Legg's to get the boys to AWANA and home that night. Thank you to all of you for your willingness and availability to help us! You are the "family" we have here in SC and we are so blessed to know and enjoy each of your families!

That's it for now. Please continue to pray for both me and Benton. Wednesday is sure to be a super long day, no only for me but also for Benton. Please pray for both of us to calm during the events of the day. Please also pray for wisdom for Dr. Baron and his staff. We know and trust the Lord will be in total control of the day.

Keeping the Faith and the Tatas!!!!!!

Hello everyone! I received AWESOME news today. Annette, one of Dr. Baron's assistants called me at about 2:00pm today. She said she had literally just received my BRCA gene test results a few moments ago and wanted to call me ASAP to give me the good news....it was NEGATIVE!!!!! WOW! I am thrilled! God is so good, he has answered yet another prayer of mine! His Will is being done and he has spared me my tatas!!! For those of you who don't understand "tatas" there is a new breast cancer awareness campaign/marketing slogan that simply says "Save The Tatas". I think it is so funny yet must admit I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a t-shirt with that on the front. It's a fun way of referring to a woman's chest though don't you think??

When Jesse and Dylan got off the bus today I just couldn't contain the excitement about the test coming back negative. We stood in the kitchen and I grabbed both their hands and screamed "time to do the happy dance". I think they thought Mommy had gone nutzo on them but it was still fun to be goofy with them. I explained to them why this was such good news and I could tell on Dylan's face he was relieved to know that the surgery wouldn't be too complicated. I honestly felt like running into the streets just screaming "Praise the Lord, for He is so good, all the time!" If it had been raining today I probably would have gone out to dance in the rain! I'm looking forward to a huge hug (or 2, or 3, or 4, or....) from Benton tonight!

We're are proceeding with the surgery date for my lumpectomy on Wed, Nov 18th. I do not know what time surgery will be yet. Like I said earlier I know it will be at Roper Hospital in downtown Charleston. Tomorrow I have to have some simple blood work done but am just going to my primary care physicians office to have it completed.

Wow, what a day filled with joy! I love knowing that God is in total control of this situation in my life, and in all areas of my life. I honestly know he hears and answers my prayers!

John 16:23-24, "I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete."

Dates to Remember...

This is mostly for my sanity but here is how the past few months went for me...
9/25/09: routine mammogram at Trident Breast Care Center, Charleston, SC
10/7/09: diagnostic mammogram & ultrasound on left side at TBCC
10/15/09: biopsy left side TBCC
10/19/09: received results that cells were cancerous; met with Dr. DeBerry in pm
10/21/09: met with Dr. Gretchen Meyers, oncologist, for "interview"
10/27/09: met with Dr. Paul Baron at Cancer Center of Charleston, surgeon
10/29/09: MRI done at CCofC with Dr. Baron's staff
10/30/09: Final walk thru & closed on our new house!!!!! :)
11/5/09: Follow-up appt with Dr. Baron to review MRI & pathology; diagnosed as grade 3 cancer
11/7/09: Big move into our new house! Whew, great exercise & a lot of work!
11/9/09: Rec'd BRCA test results...they were NEGATIVE!!!! Keeping the Tatas!!!!

Good to be "Home"...

It's Sunday evening, November 9, 2009, and I'm sitting in our new house, in the new office, and just feeling so at home already. We were so blessed to have many extra hands on deck yesterday to make the move. Thanks to our wonderful, loving, and willing fellow servants from Miles Road Baptist Church who got 'er done! You guys rocked yesterday! Hopefully we'll be able to return the favor to y'all sometime!

Nothing new to report on the cancer front. Still waiting for the results of the BRCA test. Hope to hear no later than this Tuesday. Plenty to keep my mind occupied and me busy this week as I unpack box by box. It's kind of like Christmas for me...not sure exactly what I'll find when I open up each box!

Time to call it a night. Will be sure to post any news when I get it!
P.S. HE had a birthday but we got the GIFT!!!! Amen to that Mr. Dibble!!!!!!!

More Info...

Just got an unexpected phone call from Jill Neumann, the PA for Dr. Baron. It was 6:30pm when she called so I was quite surprised. She said they have the results from the pathology report. My cancer is a "grade 3" on a scale of 1-3; 1 being the lowest in agressiveness, 3 being the highest. Sounds scary but really isn't. It doesn't change the diagnosis, treatment, surgery or prognosis. Just means that if, when they go in to remove the cells, that it may have spread a little. If the cancer has spread they will just take it out while I am already in surgery.

On a side note I asked Jill what she was doing at work so late. She told me they had a really tough day today. I was honest and told her I noticed that she was not "herself" when I saw her earlier and also mentioned that it seemed like the whole staff was confused and not "on top of things" today. She said it got really crazy in the office this afternoon and she apologized if it came across to me that way. I feel better knowing that today was an unusual day for their office. I have total confidence in them and know that this is the practice and surgeon I want to use.

Packed a few more boxes but had to keep out the electric skillet so we can have pancakes in the morning. We hope to move our beds over to the new house tomorrow and actually sleep at our new house for the first night! Woo-hoo!!!

Thanks to everyone for all your continued prayers and thoughts. Do you know I have people praying for me in Paris, France??? Isn't that awesome to know that God hears our prayers all over the world even though I'm in small town Summerville, SC??? God is so good, all the time!!!!!

Good night all!

A Little Confused...

Today is Thursday 11/5/09 and I just returned from what I thought would be a simple, quick, "follow-up" appt with the surgeon. Everything went well, with the exception that the appt took about 1 1/2 hours and the staff seemed a little out of sorts today. It was as though no one knew much of anything about my MRI and Pathology report results. Dr. Baron asked his assistant where the pathology report was and she said it was being reviewed by another doctor in their office.

I first met with Jill Neumann, the Physician Assistant, who explained to me the procedure of the lumpectomy and the procedure of testing the sentinel nodes. They will test the nodes at the same time they are doing the lumpectomy. They test the nodes because if the cancer cells have spread anywhere that is the first place they go. If the nodes come back negative they will sew me up and I'll be good. If the nodes come back positive they will remove them and the surgery will just take a little longer and I'll be a little more sore for a few days. The cool thing is that they do all this at one time.

Both Jill and Dr. Baron still are very optimistic about the outcome of the surgery. We have tentatively scheduled my surgery for Wednesday, November 18th. I will have the surgery at Roper Hospital in Charleston. However, if the BRCA test come back positive, we will need to cancel that date and then start a whole new ball game of possible mastectomy and ovary surgery. Please pray that the test results come back negative!!!! I like my tatas just the way they are and so does my hubby! Enough said on that....I'm giggling right now!

So, a few more days to wait for the BRCA test and assuming those are negative we are on for the 18th. Benton will take that day off and then I should be fine to be at home by myself during the day while the boys are in school. Benton will be on Daddy duty in the mornings though so please begin praying for him now about that responsibility for him! I'm giggling again as I can only imagine what the mornings will be like without me making lunches, telling the boys what to wear, and getting them out the door on time!

I have not made a decision yet on an Oncologist. I'm sure Dr. Baron and his staff will begin talking to me soon about that choice. There is an Oncology practice right next door to Dr. Baron's office that is recommended so we'll most likely end up with them.

Time to get Jesse to his basketball evaluation for Upward tonight. The move is going well and we are thrilled that so many friends from church are willing to help us this Saturday to get 'er done!

A verse for the day...John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Emperor Penguins

Today is Tuesday and I finally got a call back from the doctors office with the results of my MRI. She said something about the area where the calcification is being about the size of a half dollar. I'm confused by that since it looked so tiny on the digital mammogram photos. I do know, though, that MRI's give a much more in-depth look (more like 3D). She has some concern about the swelling of a few lymph nodes but also mentioned that the swelling there could be from the biopsy. It's not uncommon apparently for the nodes to swell after a biopsy has been done. I have a follow-up visit scheduled with the surgeon for this Thursday afternoon. He will review the MRI results and the pathology reports with me then. Still waiting for the results of the BRCA test to come back. They should be back no later than next Tuesday.

I woke up at 4:30am today with the knots in my stomach again. I got up around 5:30am, made my coffee, and talked with the Lord for about 15 minutes. It always helps to lay all my concerns before him. He knows every thought, emotion, and concern going through my head right now. As soon as I finished praying and began waking up the boys, all my anxiety subsided. Again, I must say, GOD IS SO GOOD TO ME! Even the smallest of prayer requests he answers. He calmed my nerves once again and let me proceed through the day with joy and a smile on my face.

Benton came home for lunch today and we sat and laughed about the funny comment Dylan made in the car this morning. Here is how the conversation went:
Jesse, "Mommy, how much does Daddy weigh?"
Me, "About 225 pounds."
Dylan, "Wow, that means Daddy could pick up an Emperor Penguin! They only weigh about 125 pounds!".
The joy Dylan and Jesse bring to my life is priceless. Just when I thought I'd have a "uneasy" day, Dylan pipes up and makes the cutest comments. Right when I started to giggle he said "STOP!". I told him I couldn't because his delightful personality makes my heart so happy I just can't help but chuckle!

It is an absolutely perfect fall day here in Summerville. The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing softly, and the leaves are falling. It's just gorgeous! A perfect day for moving more boxes to the new house! Off I go!